Just Go, Ma Ma!

The other night, Jeff and I got to have a little date night ... alone ... without the girls! It was very exciting! No laughing - this was a big change for us. The girls come everywhere with us! Healthy or not ... it's just what works for us.

So I'm building it up with Hannah that afternoon about how she gets to go to Auntie Melanie and Uncle Burke's house and have dinner there ... all ... by ... herself! If she were older, I would add, "like OMG!" She immediately started picking out the dress she was going to wear, her necklaces that would adorn her neck, and instructing me on how she wanted her hair to be braided.

SOO not my child. :)

But a little bit of her girliness rubbed off on me, and while she was in quiet time and Addi was napping, I headed upstairs to fancy it up a bit myself. When Hannah came out of her room, she stopped and stared at me, mouth gaping open.

"What's on your eyes, Ma Ma? Why are you wearing earrings? Are you being ... fancy?"

I'm not sure mascara and a ponytail qualifies as fancy, but I didn't want to be even more of a disappointment to her, so I played along.

"It's just some make-up, Honey. I thought I'd get fancy, too!"

"But you're not going to Auntie Melanie's. Just Me and Adelaide. ALL ... BY ... OURSELVES. Not you."

Lest I should forget!

So the hour when Caleb and Melanie come to pick the girls up finally arrives and Hannah barely even turns around to wave goodbye to me. I tried to brush it off by finding the positive: she's getting to be such a big girl. We won't have any issues with nursery school in the fall. Look at her take charge - she'll be a strong leader someday!

But all through the movie, even walking past the storefronts after the movie, my arms felt awkward. They weren't carrying Addi or holding Hannah's hand. They were just ... empty! And they weren't doing anything! I tried putting my hands in my pockets in an effort to give them some sort of purpose. But then I thought if I tripped, the outcome would end very badly! Maybe the problem was that I was walking with a slight tilt as I didn't have Addi's weight holding one side of me down. But then I think I overcompensated and was leaning the other way. Nothing worked - it just felt dumb. Sad, I know! Especially when there are days when having empty arms is all I want!!

Somehow I managed to stumble to the restaurant without tripping over myself, and we sit down next to a table that has about 12-14 people sitting around it. Among them is a cute little girl who is prancing around on her tip toes, showing off a ring she borrowed from her mom on her tiny little finger. Her face was beaming!

She was Hannah with blond hair!

But one look at Jeff told me he didn't see the resemblance. Looking back on it, I think only a delirious mother who had just seen a very sappy movie and obviously needs to get out without her kids more would see any such resemblance! But then the little girl skips over to a little boy, leans over and starts whispering to him about the beautiful ring she is wearing. He looked to be about the same age as Addi.

That was it. I couldn't keep my eyes off of them for the rest of our meal! The mom must have noticed me ogling her children as she practically pulls her chair over to our table and starts chatting with us. Turns out both our kids were just a few weeks apart, and it was all I could do to keep from sweeping her two kids up in my arms!

Needless to say, the girls fared far better than I did on their adventure. Shocking, I know! :) While we were settling down for bed, Hannah and I were snuggling, and she turns to me and says,

"Ma Ma. I'm all done snugglin'. Just go."

Ouch. Two points for being blunt!
But I think that girl's on to something! If a little bling and make-up shocks her and I can't even make it a measly few hours without seeing my children in others ... I obviously need to just GO!

Deep Thoughts by Hannah

The girls and I were driving in the car the other day and Hannah decided that being a walking encyclopedia of strange facts would be the best way to entertain us all. Adelaide giggled with every animated gesture Hannah did, and I giggled at every little random factoid she spout out.

"Goats live on mountains, Ma Ma. When I'm bigger - like Marta - I can live on mountains, too."

Glad to see she was setting such lofty goals, but not sure living with goats was every mother's dream.

"Insects have six legs. Except spiders. They have eight. They're anakids."

"Arachnids?" I ask.

"Yes, that's what I said, Ma Ma."

"Hmm. OK"

She rattled off a few other facts from books we've read or discussions we've had, but then she surprised me with one:

"When garbage gets old, it turns into dirt."

It was one of those very proud mom moments that makes you all warm and fuzzy inside.

"Why yes, Hannah, you're right! How did you know that?"

"Mmmm. I don't know, I just did," she said. "But that's kinda silly!"

We hadn't talked about compost with her, so I wasn't sure where she picked that up, but was exceedingly proud of her comprehension nonetheless. Then she followed it up with:

"And when water gets old, it turns into trees. And the sky eats clouds when it gets hungry."

And ... there it went. Poof!
Well, it was good while it lasted!

Would this require a visit from Social Services?

The humidity is melting my brain. That's the only excuse I can come up with right now! We've had a few embarrassing mishaps in our house lately. Surprisingly, they all took place out of the kitchen - go figure!

Perhaps the most mortifying was when Hannah walks through the doors of the library for story time singing Aerosmith lyrics. It was a combination of Dude Looks Like a Lady, and Love In an Elevator. (Highly inappropriate, I know, but she loves Aerosmith, and thankfully most of their lyrics go right over her head at this point.) I was hopeful since Hannah sings rather off tune and it was a mixture of the two songs, it would throw anyone within earshot. But, since she has sung this beautiful medley in front of the same librarian twice now, I wasn't so lucky. All I could do was shrug and say, "I only have her father to blame." :)

The next mishap took place at the park. Hannah wanted to ride her trike to the park the other day, and since her steering was getting better (although it really couldn't get any worse!), I thought I could handle pushing Addi in a stroller and use myself and the stroller as a guard rail to keep Hannah's trike out of the middle of the road. My mistake was adding our lug of a dog to the mix - Penny pulls as if she's running the Iditarod, and all is lost if she spots a squirrel or rabbit! But hindsight is 20/20 ... at the beginning of the journey, none of these things were raising red flags. Afterall, how hard could it be - a walk in the park, right? So we set off and all was going smoothly. We made it to the park, and Hannah picked up speed in her excitement. Right before you get to this particular park, you have to make a 90 degree turn and the trail slopes downhill ever so slightly. So I'm coaching Hannah from a few feet behind and telling her to make sure to steer when the trail turns and to keep her eyes on the trail ... don't look at the dog ... look where you're going ... Hannah, don't look at the dog, yes she is cute ... Hannah, look where you're going, good job ... no, I don't know the dog's name ... focus on turning ... you got it ... Hannah you need to slow down now ... Hannah slow down ... Hannah ... HANNAH ... OH DEAR GOD ... STOP PEDALING ... NO, I mean keep your feet on your pedals, but SLOW DOWN! STOP MOVING YOUR FEET!! Oh nuts ... HAAAANNNNAAAAAHHHH!!!

Well, it was over quickly, I'll say that. She handled the turn beautifully, but then went into overdrive down the hill and in her panic (and mine!) lifted her feet up as she was going so fast and sped out of control. I swear she was nearing 20 mpr near the end! Meanwhile, I am sprinting after her while pushing Addi in the stroller (who is giggling, thinking this is the best ride ever!) and Penny is loaping along, but of course trying to go perpendicular to the way we are heading for some reason. It was at this point that I began wondering ... do I let go of the stroller so I may have a prayer of catching Hannah and prevent the nasty road rash that will surely be coming? There's a 5-point-harness on the stroller afterall. No. That would be bad. Dang ... Who's idea was this anyway?!

And then Hannah fell. By the time I got to her - the silent scream had turned ... well, not so silent. And those who hadn't already turned to see what all the commotion leading up to this point was about now turned to look at the deranged mother who had let her daughter go barreling downhill while running after her screaming like a crazy woman. Not our finest hour. But I am ever so thankful for the good samaritan and her dog. Turns out the dog's name at the top of the curve was Lucy, and she provided the best form of distraction we could have asked for. Without it, we still may be making our way home from the park.

The last mishap is the most shameful. We were at Target, and I had everything we needed wedged around Hannah who was sitting in the front seat while Addi was in her car seat in the main cart compartment. (In case you can't picture it, this leaves very little room for anything other than cute girls in the cart!) Things were going smoothly as Hannah hadn't started complaining about the frozen bag of broccoli making "her leggies cold" yet, so I thought I'd chance it and check out the plastic storage bin section. Thrilled that I not only found what I needed, but that it was also on sale, I pulled down the 30-gallon bin and stood there facing the girls wondering how I could get this out to the car without making a scene. Hannah could read my thoughts and was instantly worried. "What ya doing, Ma Ma?"

Truth be told, I was trying to figure out if I could balance the bin on top of her baby sister. I could, couldn't I? Granted, Addi would be entombed in blue plastic, but maybe if I upgraded to a clear plastic bin, that would be better. Maybe I wouldn't have to send her to therapy later in life as she would be able to see out. I got as far as lifting the bin up to eyeball the measurement when I noticed a little girl about 7 years old, stopping to stare, mouth gaping open. This was bad. If a 7-year-old knew it was wrong ... someone would surely call Social Services.

Feeling Greatly Outnumbered

When Jeff and I decided to have another baby, I kept asking him ... "what will I do when they run in opposite directions?! There will be two of them and only one of me?!"

Ha! That goes to show just how silly we were - running in opposite directions is the least of our worries at this point! Hannah and Adelaide have officially joined forces, and apparently Jeff and I didn't get the memo, so we are left in the only remaining spot ... the opposing team. While we may have the size advantage, we don't have speed, and we definitely don't have the skills necessary to keep up! Since Addi was born, our girls seem to have an inherent way of knowing what the other one is thinking, and at times it seems as if they use it just to see how gray their mother's hair can turn throughout the course of a day. Call it ESP, sisterly intuition or whatever you want ... whatever it is, Jeff and I are in the dark! Not a day goes by when the girls don't use this to their advantage - and I fear it will only get worse once Addi starts talking. They can conspire on a whole new level at that point!

Recently, however, it has all become rather absurd since the cat and dog have joined forces as well. We keep a box of dog treats on a shelf in the entryway, and I watched as Arthur jumped up on the shelf and Penny simultaneously sat down and started wagging her tail in anticipation. I nudged Jeff to look and said, "Silly dog. She thinks the cat is going to give her a treat!"

A minute later I ended up eating my words.

Arthur proceeded to meticulously open the flaps of the box with his paws, reach his head in and pull out a bone. Arthur is a rather strange cat, so I laughed thinking he was going to eat the dog treat he just helped himself to. Nope! He jumps down from the shelf, prances over to Penny and lays the treat by her feet. Jeff looked at me in amazement, and I looked at him in horror ... for I knew the treat was collateral for helping him escape out the screen door earlier that day, which means Arthur and Penny now have an understanding between them ... and I, am officially doomed.

So now that the furry ones are in cahoots, that makes the official count 4 to 2, or 4 to 1 for the majority of each day. And I was worried about TWO of them running in opposite directions! So if you see a crazed lady lugging a baby while chasing a runaway cat with a toddler and a half-brained coonhound running after her - I'd appreciate a kind thought or two to help even out the score until I catch the damn cat. You can still laugh - I know I would! - but a kind word or even a little prayer would be mighty helpful! It only seems fair!

I'm off to take a shower - worked up a sweat chasing the four of them around today!

Chocolate is Hard to Share

In our house, there are a lot of rules that go out the window when chocolate is involved:

• Enough is enough
• You don't want to overdo it
• The lighter the better, and
• Doubling the amount listed in the recipe is never a good idea
  

Yesterday, Hannah added another rule: When it comes to chocolate ... sharing doesn't apply.

This afternoon we made two batches of brownies. One to bring to the vet for taking such good care of Penny for the 3 days she stayed with them, and one for us. (You can see where she gets this train of thought. Even I can't fathom making just one batch and giving it all away!)

So Hannah mixed up the batch we were going to have for ourselves, and I mixed up the batch for the vet. (Although, due to my lack of cooking skills, we probably should have reversed so the vet got the better one!) Anyway, the entire time we were working on it, Hannah was giddy because she could smell chocolate and kept asking, "Ma ma, will I like brownies?! Are they yummy, because they smell yummy?! Can I eat them now?! How about now?! Now are they done?"

Once they were FINALLY baked and cooled off, she so very proudly carried the pan into the vet clinic and told them with a huge smile on her face that she made these, "and Mommy said they are yummy!" We chatted for a bit, then I asked Hannah to say goodbye and thank you to the staff for taking care of her puppy. Hannah's mouth, which normally runs 100 mph, suddenly stopped short and she stood gaping at the vet techs and our veterinarian, apparently speechless. I looked at her and panicked, thinking she was remembering how Eve got sick and died before we could take her to this vet clinic. Then not long after that, we got Penny, but promptly had to take her to this vet and leave her for 3 days because she was so sick, so I started shooing Hannah out the door explaining that everything is OK, Penny was still at home and she's all better now, etc. But Hannah puts on the brakes just oustide the door and turns to me with the most exasperated look on her face and says, "but MOM ... why are we leaving?!"
"Well, because we just came to drop off the brownies and now it's time to go home. Remember Penny's at home, she's OK now. She's not sick anymore."
"But MOOOMMMMM! The brownies are in THERE!!! We just LEFT them there!"

Now I was the one speechless!

You would have thought the brownies were another child the way she carried on about "just leaving them there!" How neglectful!

Apparently in her mind, we were supposed to stay at the vet and share the brownies with them. Then come home and have the second batch all by ourselves. :) Maybe some of my genes did get passed down to her!

The thing is, Hannah does such a good job of sharing everything else, I didn't see this coming at all. But apparently when it comes to chocolate ... all bets are off!

Our Lucky Penny

We have a new dog in our household - Penny, our Lab/Irish Setter/Mutt of a girl who is simply wonderful! We just happened upon her at the local humane society (while we were "just looking" - HA! Has anyone walked out of there without a pet before??), but we couldn't have asked for a better dog! We think she is around 1-year-old, but she has these gorgeous brown eyes that seem to have already lived a lifetime.

She came with the name Penny, and she's proving the old saying correct more and more each minute about how your luck will change if you pick up a stray penny.

When we were tossing around other name ideas, Hannah chimed in with the name Nonny. As if bringing a dog home isn't fraught with enough emotions in and of itself, this one pulled on the heart strings even further. "Nonny" is Jeff's grandmother figure, but is actually his Great Aunt Ethel. She is by far the sweetest woman I have ever met. She just emanates kindness and compassion and has had such a positive impact on everyone who knows her. We were absolutely thrilled when the girls got to meet Ethel this past weekend while she and Jeff's parents were in town for a funeral, and Hannah hasn't stopped talking about her since. As far as temperament goes, the name Nonny would fit perfectly as Penny is just so full of love and absolutely adores the girls - even with all the eye pokes, hair pulling and strangling hugs that they dole out. But, while it was the highest compliment Hannah could give anyone, we were afraid Ethel may not take to having a dog named after her!

So lucky Penny stuck, and we are enjoying every moment with her! Hannah has woken up in the middle of the night each night since we first saw her she's been so excited about "her puppy." (I'm hoping that can be toned down a bit, actually!)

I wasn't sure we were ready for another dog as it has only been a few months since we lost Eve, but Penny has lifted our spirits more in the past few days than we thought imaginable. Hannah says it best - "It's gonna be a fun day today, Ma Ma!" Hee hee!!!!

Can We Go Out In Public Like This?

Behold the power of fashion!

Up until now, I have intentionally never given Hannah a choice in what she wears, simply because I don't want to have to spend 3 hours each morning arguing over what that is. Yet somehow we've reached that point, and I'm not sure how to turn back!

However, she's not all that particular about what outfit she wears, it just has to be a dress. "I need to be fancy, Ma Ma." She views wearing shorts as a form of cruel punishment and instantly starts negotiating her way out of it. Needless to say, for the past couple of weeks, we have found ourselves at a park, in a sandbox, in a chicken coop, on a boat and a number of other locations that are all worthy of a good pair of shorts ... in girly dresses instead.

Were it not for the fact that she has such a tomboy personality, I'd say she was born in the wrong century as she thinks all girls should wear dresses all the time. In fact, whenever we come back home, all is not right until she gets back into her bright pink, frilly, sparkly, twirling dress. I can see her sigh with relief once she has it on! "I can't dance without my pink dress," she tells me in an exasperated tone!

So our day usually consists of countless wardrobe changes before all is said and done. Mid breakfast, she is horrified that her socks don't match. An hour later, she has to wear ballet slippers, which for whatever reason require a different pink frilly dress from the one she currently has on. Finally, her mean mother makes her put on something that does not contain any tulle or an excessive amount of sequins before leaving the house, and we start the cycle all over again.

All is not lost, however. She knows I don't understand or agree with any of this and her adventures would be cut short if I have to wait for her to change to get out the door. So that girl can whip in and out of outfits in no time, and always puts away her fancy dresses. The only real battles we have revolve around pajamas. "These pants aren't comfortable. I just need a dress - I really do!" she weeps each night.

But being forced to wear pants as pajamas may actually be helping her fall asleep faster because the shame and horror of not wearing a dress is simply more than she can bear. Within seconds of waking up each morning, she opens her closet door, pulls a tote over so she can kneel on top of it, and reaches a dress so the humility can finally come to an end. She comes out of her room wearing a dress (often over her PJs and on backwards) with her hair going every which way and a tangled knot of necklaces around her neck, but she has a smile on her face and her first words each morning are, "Look Ma Ma (as she twirls around) ... I be fancy!"

It truly is a great way to wake up!

Photo: Hannah is wearing two dresses over her pajamas, complete with a stunning array of hair barrettes and necklaces, not to mention sparkly rubber bands substituting as bracelets. I hear it's all the rage in Europe!

Saying Goodbye to Evie

Our 12-year-old dog Eve died rather unexpectedly about a month ago. It's been hard, as she has been with us since the first day we moved into this house 5.5 years ago. But it has been made even harder by the fact that I should have talked about death with Hannah before her beloved Evie passed away. Yet, there never seems to be a good time with a toddler - especially for one who is such a worrier. The overall concept is still lost, I'm afraid.

Even after a month, Hannah still doesn't understand where Eve is and why she hasn't come home yet. Countless times each day, Hannah asks if we can go to the vet to bring Eve home. "She's calling for me - she wants to come home." (I wilt a little more every time she says things like this.) Hannah still sets a place for Eve when starting a board game and continues to pour her a cup of tea for tea parties, then looks up and asks when Eve can come home because she misses playing with her, "and I'm just waiting and waiting for her to take her turn with this game already." Being sad can only last so long when one is so impatient!

So, we buried Eve's ashes in our backyard, hoping some sort of closure could come from it. At my sister's suggestion, we each picked 3 of our favorite things we loved most about Eve. After we managed to focus and stopped picking up all the worms that were dug up, this is our list for the best pet anyone could ask for:

Hannah's:

1. She played chase with me. (Something that had to be learned for Eve - Hannah had to hold a treat in her hand for it to work!)
   
2. She caught the ball in her mouth when I threw it, "even though that's kinda yucky."
3. She loved me lots. (rather egocentric, but nonetheless, it was true!)

Mine:

1. She cleaned up all the crumbs under the table. Something I obviously didn't fully appreciate when she was here. It's a wonder Eve didn't weigh 200 pounds from all the scraps she got!
2. Before we had kids, she would sneak up on Jeff's side of the bed while he was brushing his teeth in hopes of sleeping there for the night. She'd lay perfectly still (it even seemed like she'd hold her breath!) hoping maybe THIS time he wouldn't see her 65-pound self when he came out of the bathroom and make her get down .
3. She and Arthur were the epitome of an old married couple. One couldn't be without the other. Arthur kept Eve from accidentally wandering into trouble, and Eve brought an end to Arthur's wild bachelor days in the alleys and kept him from causing too much mischief.

Jeff's:

1. She LOVED the water.
   
2. She was the perfect height and demeanor when Hannah was learning how to walk to go "dog surfing." Hannah would crawl over to Eve, pull herself up and hang on for dear life as Eve would stand up and start walking/running away trying to get away from those little prying fingers! Wish Addi could have learned to walk the same way.
3. She was a great foot warmer on cold nights when I had to work in the basement.
   

I still think having a pet is one of the best things you can do when raising kids, as the rewards are endless. But losing one has also been one of the hardest. Part of me doesn't want to get another dog simply because I don't think I can go through this again. But the house seems empty, and those crumbs under the table are starting to pile up!
Yin and Yang, I guess.