Flopped Stranger Danger Talk

We were driving back from my Mom and Dad's today, and a neighbor of theirs had their house alarm blaring, and a cop car was in the driveway surveying the scene, etc. It made quite the impression on four very big eyes peering out our back window as we drove by, which then led to a discussion with Hannah about why sirens would go off if a person who didn't live there went inside the house, and why the police would have to be called, etc. A rather long, tedious, 45-minute discussion while traveling on I-94! (I'm having a glass of wine while jotting this down now!) ;)

Even though Hannah is almost 5, we haven't really had the Stranger Danger conversation before now. Since 90% of her DNA includes the very same components as Saran Wrap, the chances of her not sticking with me are slim to none, and her death glare is a force to be reckoned with ... I don't care what kind of monsters are out there! However, with Kindergarten coming up, a little introduction of the world we've tried so hard to shield her from is a bit necessary.

So I started off with something like this: "Some people we don't know aren't always so nice. Most of them are, but every once in a while, there's a mean one, so you just need to be careful. Some people are careful by installing a house alarm, so they will know if a stranger comes into their house while they are away. Then they won't be surprised when they come home and find him or her there."

I instantly ate my words, as "surprised" almost certainly made Hannah think of someone bringing balloons and streamers into the house to surprise the homeowner. Who wouldn't open a door to that?!

After a brief clarification, we talked about what we do if someone we don't know tries to take you away from Mommy, or away from your school group, etc..
H: "I SCREAM, and I run to Mom or to my teacher."
Me: "Awesome."
H: "What if that stranger knows me, but I don't know them?"
Me: "You still need to find someone you know, and ask them just to be safe. Some strangers are tricky, and want to make you believe they're your friend but they're really not."
H: "But Mom, what if that stranger has a sword? Maybe we need to run inside super fast and get another sword to scare him away!"
Me: "If that stranger has a sword, you scream even louder so everyone around you can hear you and can come help."
H: "Umm. No, I think I'll just get my own sword."
Me: "Well, since we don't have any swords, not sure that will work. The best thing you can do is kick and scream. Always remember that."
H: "But MOM ... I can't kick him, that would hurt him, and I don't want to hurt him because even if he isn't nice, someone who knows him may love him, and that would hurt their feelings if I kicked him."

Oh for goodness sakes!

H: "Or maybe I can just tickle him and he'd let me go."

AHHH!!

Me: "NO! NO, NO, NO! If someone tries to grab you, I want you to scream the loudest you have ever screamed, kick the hardest you have ever kicked, scratch, bite ... do whatever it takes for you to get free."

Astonished at what her mother has just said, Hannah leans forward in her seat and whispers, "But Mom ... you said we should never, ever, bite. And if I screamed too loud, it could hurt my ears. Or it could hurt the stranger's ears. I don't think I want to do that."

I thought I might have to pull over on this one. Needless to say, our light-hearted introduction to Stranger Danger derailed and became a baptism by fire on what the evil world can hold as I spouted off a number of horrible, monstrous things that could happen if she didn't try her hardest to get away. And yes, that included biting and screaming so loud it hurt everyone's ears.

I was met with dead silence yet again. Hannah stared out the car window for several minutes after that one. I wasn't sure if she understood some of the horrible things that came spouting from my mouth ... and if she did understand them, I wasn't sure I wanted that either. I kept peering back at her in the rear view mirror looking for some sort of sign if I said too much ... needed to say more ... but all was quiet. Maybe she was still stuck on having her ears hurt by screaming so loud.

Finally, she leaned forward and said, "Mom, I have an idea. How about if we see any strangers crossing the road, you can just hit them with the car."

Ack! Well, I think it's safe to say she understood at least some of what I said! Now we'll be working on finding a nice gray area between now and when she turns 16 and gets behind a wheel!

Be safe out there!