Doctor Hannah

It's been a busy week in the Heuiser-Lynn household as both girls have been sick and we made more than our fair share of visits to the doctor's office.

Before each visit, I would spend an indefinite amount of time explaining to Hannah what the doctor would do to either her or Adelaide (whichever one was the Patient of the Day), and Hannah would watch me so intensely as I would explain what parts of her body the doctor would look at, what tools may be used and what questions she may be asked. I can only hope she'll prepare for her SATs with the same amount of diligence!

So when it was time for the actual doctor visit, Hannah sat stone still as the doctor performed her examination and she promptly and thoroughly answered each question that was asked of her.

"Well, aren't you comely," the doctor said when she had finished.

Hannah shot me a confused sort of look, but I couldn't pull the words together to explain what "comely" meant as I was confused myself. Could this really be the same child who just spent 1.5 hours fighting with me earlier that morning about whether or not she liked cheese? (As you can imagine ... it was mostly an argument with herself, as who am I to say what she likes and doesn't like!) Brick wall ... meet Hannah!

When it was clear that the doctor was getting ready to leave the room, the lack of a climax to the visit was apparent in Hannah's eyes. Clearly the doctor had forgotten something as we were only in the room for a mere 5 minutes! So, Hannah took it upon herself to fill in the blanks, and take up more of that precious doctor/patient time. Just as she was closing the door, Hannah blurted out:

"My mom says when we're sick, we need to drink lots of water because it washes out the insides of our bodies. But we don't drink soapy water - that's yucky and it could make us sick. Germs make us sick, too. We don't like germs so much."

"That's right," chuckles the doctor. "Umm ... drink lots of fluids and you'll be better in no time."

We had a similar anti-climatic end at Adelaide's visit a few days later, and Hannah rushed to remind the "negligent" doctor before he closed the door that he had forgotten to tell Adelaide to sleep a lot so she could get better.

"Oh ... yes, you're right! She does need to sleep a lot. Thank you, Hannah. Adelaide is lucky to have you looking out for her."

Hannah took a long, deep sigh and replied, "Yeah, I know."

As the doctor was closing the door, he must have flipped through the charts and noticed that Hannah had been in recently, too.

"I see that you were a little under the weather as well, Hannah," he says as he pokes his head back in the room. "You should try to get in some extra long naps, too. Goodbye now!"

The door behind him closed just in time as laser beams shot out of Hannah's eyes. But she quickly composed herself, then turned to me and said, "He's a silly doctor! He doesn't even know naps are for babies!"

Our Very Strong Day

I am one of the few who truly love Minnesota winters. But yesterday definitely put that love to the test. After dropping Hannah off at school, I couldn't get our car up our slippery driveway and into the garage. After a few failed attempts, I then couldn't get our car back down our driveway either. So, there our car sat at a lovely 45 degree angle, smack dab in the middle of the driveway. At the very top of the driveway, I sat, busily cursing the car, our heinously-sloped driveway, the ice and snow covering the damn driveway, our lack of a snow blower, and inevitably ... all things related to Minnesota winters.

But once Addi had woken up from her nap and I had finished giving the ski slope a quick shovel, things started looking up. Still, the only way I could figure out how to get the car off the driveway was to push it down. And the only way to push it down (as far as I could tell) was to be in front of the car. This would leave no one to steer or hit the brakes if oncoming traffic or small children came down the street while our car came barreling down the driveway. I didn't like this part of the plan so much.

Nonetheless, our task began. From her perch on top of a snowbank, I was hoping Addi could give me a heads up as to when cars were coming down the road, as she loves to wave and say "hi" to every one as they pass by our house. Surely she wouldn't fail me now!

Well, that didn't really pan out, but she was the best cheerleader anyone could ask for. Each time I grunted and groaned as I shoved, she also let out her best grunts (which are usually saved for taking those pesky caps off markers) and she would clap and squeal every time I slipped and fell flat on my face. I should have sold tickets!

In the end ... the car made its way to the street, and after throwing some pine needles and such down for traction, we are back in business! When I was telling Hannah of our adventures, she was truly amazed. "But Mama, the car is so heavy. How did you do that? You must have eaten lots of good things in order to be so strong! I want to be strong - can I push a car too?"

Hmmm. Eating good things = strong girls. I couldn't have asked for a better moral of the story! And while you all know pushing our car down the driveway wasn't that great of a feat since we have a relatively small car and our driveway would be better suited as an Olympic ski jump, don't tell Hannah! I'm looking forward to argument-free meals so she can grow up big and strong!

The Most PC Letter to Santa

'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, the girls were rambunctious, and so was my spouse!

In an effort to take a little breather, I tried to rope in Hannah to write a letter to Santa. I thought it would be a quick request for the pink puppy dog she had been talking about for weeks and then she'd quickly zip back to running laps around our living room. But I ended up dictating the most politically correct letter Santa has probably ever received!

Dear Santa,
I hope you like the cookies - I made the pink candy cane ones! But be careful coming down our chimney - we put lights up so you could see, but try not to trip on them and get all tangled up. And don't eat the carrots, they are for the reindeer. Can you take them up the chimney with you and give them to your reindeer so they won't get hungry? Our roof is so slippery, I didn't want them to fall. And Mom says we can't have reindeer in the house or Penny would get scared. We have toys on the floor by the chimney, too. Don't trip on them!

With a little coaxing from me, she somewhat focused:

I've tried to be a good girl this year. Adelaide has, too ... but sometimes she doesn't know any better. She's still little (she says while doing a little shoulder shrug). All I want for Christmas is a pink puppy dog if you can find it. I drew a picture of it on the front. If not, can I be a fairy? Adelaide just wants kisses from me. Oh, and chocolate!

Thanks, Santa! I hope you have a safe trip back to the North Pole! Remember, don't trip on our lights! It's slippery out there!

Love, Hannah