Saying Goodbye to Evie

Our 12-year-old dog Eve died rather unexpectedly about a month ago. It's been hard, as she has been with us since the first day we moved into this house 5.5 years ago. But it has been made even harder by the fact that I should have talked about death with Hannah before her beloved Evie passed away. Yet, there never seems to be a good time with a toddler - especially for one who is such a worrier. The overall concept is still lost, I'm afraid.

Even after a month, Hannah still doesn't understand where Eve is and why she hasn't come home yet. Countless times each day, Hannah asks if we can go to the vet to bring Eve home. "She's calling for me - she wants to come home." (I wilt a little more every time she says things like this.) Hannah still sets a place for Eve when starting a board game and continues to pour her a cup of tea for tea parties, then looks up and asks when Eve can come home because she misses playing with her, "and I'm just waiting and waiting for her to take her turn with this game already." Being sad can only last so long when one is so impatient!

So, we buried Eve's ashes in our backyard, hoping some sort of closure could come from it. At my sister's suggestion, we each picked 3 of our favorite things we loved most about Eve. After we managed to focus and stopped picking up all the worms that were dug up, this is our list for the best pet anyone could ask for:

Hannah's:

1. She played chase with me. (Something that had to be learned for Eve - Hannah had to hold a treat in her hand for it to work!)
   
2. She caught the ball in her mouth when I threw it, "even though that's kinda yucky."
3. She loved me lots. (rather egocentric, but nonetheless, it was true!)

Mine:

1. She cleaned up all the crumbs under the table. Something I obviously didn't fully appreciate when she was here. It's a wonder Eve didn't weigh 200 pounds from all the scraps she got!
2. Before we had kids, she would sneak up on Jeff's side of the bed while he was brushing his teeth in hopes of sleeping there for the night. She'd lay perfectly still (it even seemed like she'd hold her breath!) hoping maybe THIS time he wouldn't see her 65-pound self when he came out of the bathroom and make her get down .
3. She and Arthur were the epitome of an old married couple. One couldn't be without the other. Arthur kept Eve from accidentally wandering into trouble, and Eve brought an end to Arthur's wild bachelor days in the alleys and kept him from causing too much mischief.

Jeff's:

1. She LOVED the water.
   
2. She was the perfect height and demeanor when Hannah was learning how to walk to go "dog surfing." Hannah would crawl over to Eve, pull herself up and hang on for dear life as Eve would stand up and start walking/running away trying to get away from those little prying fingers! Wish Addi could have learned to walk the same way.
3. She was a great foot warmer on cold nights when I had to work in the basement.
   

I still think having a pet is one of the best things you can do when raising kids, as the rewards are endless. But losing one has also been one of the hardest. Part of me doesn't want to get another dog simply because I don't think I can go through this again. But the house seems empty, and those crumbs under the table are starting to pile up!
Yin and Yang, I guess.

T-Plus 10 Years. Three Is Practically a Teenager

Hannah turned 3 today - whoo hoo! But with each new birthday, I grow a bit more fearful as it brings us another year closer to the dreaded teenage years. Argh. I'm not sure we'll survive.

OK, maybe I'm overreacting as we still have many years before Hannah and Addi become official teenagers, but there are days when I swear we're already there due to the insanely high amount of drama in this house!

I should try to focus on the positive - if they're teenagers, that means my job as a parent is practically done! Before Jeff and I got married, our only "pre-nuptials" we talked about was how we were going to raise kids. I told him how I just don't do teenagers, and he gave a big sigh of relief and admitted he just doesn't do babies. So, we agreed to swap! I will raise them when they are young, and officially hand over the torch to Jeff when our kids reach the obnoxious age. We both come out of this thinking we get the better part of the deal. Silly Jeff! I'm not sure he counted on having two girls when we made this pact, however! hee hee! :)

But as I watch our 3-year-old daughter grow, I think that torch is already starting to burn a little brighter each day. Jeff may be stepping up sooner than he thinks, yet I can't imagine letting go of the reigns anytime soon. It's gotta be a great ride with this one!! Hannah is so very passionate in everything she does already. Add teenage hormone levels to the mix, and WEEEEEEEEE!!!

However, we already have a taste of the sassy vibes teenagers are such experts at as well. Here are some of the examples from just this week alone (the list would be quite lengthy if it dated any further back!):

"Mommy, you're not listening ... I said I want some chocolate! I said that two times!"

"Daddy, you're sposed (supposed) to say 'excuse me.'"

"Mommy, I was just waiting, and waiting, and waiting for you to come."
"Hannah, I came as soon as you started calling."
"But you were down the hall - that's a long time for me."

As a whining episode was getting into full swing, I asked her why she thought whining would get what she wanted. Her response: "But I like to whine. I like being 'damatic.' (a.k.a. dramatic.)"
If that isn't the understatement of the year! When Jeff came home I asked him if it was possible for 3-year-olds to have PMS. (It was a particularly trying day!)

I don't know why I'm surprised she may be turning into a teenager sooner rather than later - after all, she's already chosen who she'll marry!

Happy birthday Hannah B!!!! We love you more than anything!

The Sounds of Quite Time

We're on week two of substituting Hannah's nap for quiet time, and the circles under our eyes are proof of it. I'm starting to think this may have been one of those ideas that sounded better than it really was. But too late now! Hannah's rolling with it!

During quiet time, she's supposed to do things like read books by herself, listen to books on tape, make beaded necklaces, do imaginative play, etc. Ha! But, it mostly consists of her running in and out of her room updating me on whatever it is she's doing, singing at the top of her lungs any song she knows (and several songs she's made up), or looking out the window trying to get passersby to wave to her. In other words, quiet time is anything but quiet.

I keep thinking one of these days, she'll get it as she so desperately needs a little down time in the afternoon to make it through the evening. Actually, we both do! So, I was thrilled the other day when all of the sudden I noticed the house was quiet. Addi was asleep, but Hannah's quiet time was actually quiet, too. And a few minutes had passed without her bursting through her door announcing, "I be all done with quiet time now, Ma Ma!" She had actually fallen asleep during quiet time! Whoo hoo!

Taking a nap was always something I listed as one of the things she could do during quiet time, but she always insisted she did NOT need a nap and would find "other things to play with - I don't need one. I just like to play, play, play." So when she woke up, I tried to make it into this great thing she had done and didn't she feel better after her nap, etc. But her answer was a tearful, "I not mean to - it was an accident. I don't like to take naps, Ma Ma!"

Now she's moved into the state of denial and doesn't even admit to accidentally falling asleep the other day, and she's working even harder to stay awake this cold, rainy afternoon again.
(sigh)
But I have faith it will get better. It has to, right?! :)

"Cooking" with Kids

It's no secret I despise cooking. In order for any sort of recipe to even be considered being made in this house, it has to stand up to my five rules:

1) No putzying allowed
2) No elaborate ingredient lists
3) Most steps can be done with just one hand (the other hand is generally either holding a baby or entertaining a toddler)
4) No steps can require complete concentration. The words, "stir constantly" is an instant disqualifier
5) Preparation must be able to withstand an indeterminate amount of interruptions lasting anywhere from 30 seconds to a good 20-30 minutes.

How I am related to my mother and all of her culinary expertise is beyond me. She also does math. Maybe I'm adopted.

But I hit a new low the other day. I was craving hot chocolate, so I put some rice milk on the stove and continued playing with the girls in the living room while it warmed up. It was beautiful outside, so we headed out to the deck - leaving the forgotten pot still on the stove. Some time passed, during which our cat was going bananas and neighbors walking by peered up at us with perplexing looks on their faces, but (sadly) this wasn't anything out of the ordinary. Then, every smoke alarm in our house seemed to go off at once. Our security system went off as well - blaring a siren for everyone within a 10-mile radius to hear. I quickly herded the cat out on the deck so he wouldn't go deaf, reassured the kiddos that the end of the world was not coming and headed back in to open more windows. At this point, I wondered how sad it was that I had this routine down to a science. The steps to take care of a smoke alarm seemed automatic. (sigh). Needless to say, we didn't have hot chocolate that day, and we now have one less pot to cook with.

But the worst part was yet to come. Jeff came home 20 minutes later with a smile on his face and asked if we were going out to dinner. "The whole neighborhood smells of burned toast, what happened?" Feeling a bit hurt, I asked why he would automatically assume it was OUR house that was the source of the smell. "Ye of little faith," I told him. He instantly started apologizing, which made me feel even worse, so I told him the truth ... "It wasn't dinner I burned, it was our snack."

[Photo: Making bread with a 3-year old. Here is a typical example of how things turn out in this house. It takes certain skills to mess up bread in a bread machine! If anyone wants to trade these skills for useful ones, let me know!]

"Mommy, I'll Get the Phone!"

Famous last words.

We were all in Adelaide's room the other day when Hannah jumps up and announces that she would get the phone. Hannah can't exactly reach the phone, nor does she know which buttons to push to answer it (one has to be discreet!), so I quickly finished changing Addi and started to walk downstairs to see if I could pick it up before it rolled over to the answering machine. But Hannah had rerouted to our bedroom and picked up the phone on the bedside table - the phone that doesn't ring, but also doesn't have any buttons to push in order to pick up. Eeks! As I hear her asking, "want to come over to our house and play with me?" I ask, "Hannah! Who are you talking to?!"

"Uncle Burke," she answers very nonchalantly and rather annoyed that I am interrupting her very important conversation.

Phew. So she continues to relay the various parts of her morning thus far and asks a few more times if he wants to come over and play, then tells him goodbye. I reach for the phone to see what Burke wanted, but he had already hung up. I hit Caller ID to call him back, but instead of Burke's number, it starts dialing our siding contractor. Uh oh. Our siding contractor is a lovely man, but I doubt he had planned for a 5-minute conversation with a 3-year-old about what she had for breakfast and how there was currently a spider in her room AND in the hallway.
When I did get ahold of him and apologized, he said he had a good laugh and asked if she was jumping up and down while talking about the spiders (which of course she was!) because she sounded out of breath while asking, "Don't you see it, Burke ... he's right there! Ooh, he's moving! See??!!! He's right there ... LOOK!! Where's he goin'? Maybe I follow him."
Maybe she's ahead of her time in thinking we can all see what she sees while talking on the phone!
Oh to be 3!

Spider Hunting

Hannah has a new favorite pastime - spider hunting. While we both tend to be constantly scanning corners and crevices for the creepy crawlies, our reasons couldn't be any more different. Like any normal person, I am on the lookout for them out of fear, while Hannah just wants to get the next game of Spider Hunting started.

I wonder if any of my genes actually got passed down to her, or she just morphed directly from Jeff.

This isn't a game I necessarily disagree with, however. She often does a better job at squashing them than Jeff - who often misses or drops the spider mid air, which sends me jumping around as if the floor itself is on fire until it is found. But when it is 6:15 a.m. and I can hear the garage door closing as Jeff leaves for work, the last thing I want to hear is, "Mommy! I see a spider. LET'S GO SPIDER HUNTING!!!!!"

With Jeff being gone, that leaves only me to play the game with her. And, as luck would have it, spiders tend to lurk in high places, so I get to do the dirty work and hand the kleenex with the squished goods to Hannah so she can dance her way to the bathroom and sacrifice the spider to the Porcelain God.

But she recently changed the rules of this game - never a good thing. "I don't want to flush it, I want to be the spider's mommy," she tells me. Ugh! I can deal with a lot of rather disturbing things - naming and carrying dead ladybugs around on her adventures all day or picking up ants and putting their crushed little bodies in a circle on the driveway so they can have a tea party ... but becoming a spider's mommy was too much. Not knowing how to react, I just yanked the kleenex out of her hand and threw it in the toilet. I couldn't think of anything else to say other than, "Spiders don't need mommies!"

Cue the drama. Perhaps I was a bit too harsh and inadvertently squashed some of her maternal instinct in addition to the spider. Oh well ... what's done is done, and there will not be any harboring of spiders in this house!

Tired of Being Sucked On

Addi is now 6-months old! Whoo hoo! And while that is exciting news all by itself, I can't help but have a selfish thought that this also means that I am that much closer to being done nursing forever! I didn't realize just how much I don't like breastfeeding when Hannah was little, but it has been brought to the forefront this time around, especially when pumping is required. Jeff knows to steer a clear distance from me for at least a half an hour after I pumped because it puts me in the worst mood imaginable. Nursing is one thing - you get to cuddle up with your baby and kiss those hands that reach up to bat at your face as a gentle little reminder that this is her time, and you need to stop talking or doing whatever it is you're doing besides gazing at her. Needless to say, there is no magic moment with a cold plastic pump. And being tied to a plug in the wall - not ideal for anyone, especially a mom.

I am completely behind the health benefits, convenience and cost-effectiveness of breastfeeding, but there just comes a point when you are tired of being sucked on! I recently told my sister that I think that would make a great bumper sticker.

Going into it the second time, I knew I had to change things as I had such horrible memories associated with nursing with Hannah. For instance, I refuse to sit on a toilet in a public restroom and nurse with Addi. And when she wakes up in the middle of the night, I take her into our bed rather than sitting in her room half-undressed and shivering, willing her to hurry. Those two alone have made a tremendous difference on my outlook!

But, I still find myself looking forward to the day when we are done. A grand celebration will be had! There will be cheese, and there will be chocolate. But most of all, there will NOT be boobs!

Hannah Declares She Will Marry "Her" Caleb

Hannah was recently enthralled with my wedding ring, and wanted to "wear it all day and be married." I told her she needs to get bigger before she can get married (at least 50!), and she needs to find someone she loves very much ... and then she can have her own ring and be married.

She thought about that for a minute, then informed me that she would marry Adelaide. "I really love her, Ma Ma," she says. I explained to her that marrying your sister probably wouldn't work so well, but that she'll meet someone someday when she is older, and can decide if she wants to get married then.

Hannah thought about it a little more and asked, "When I be big like My Caleb, Ma Ma? Then I be married?" hmmmm. Size wise, yes ... age wise, no. So I told her she needed to be even bigger than Caleb because even though he is 6'3", his 13 years of wisdom wasn't enough to be married.

The wheels turned a bit longer, then she folded her hands in her lap like her mind was made up and stated that when she got bigger ... and Caleb got bigger ... "we be married!"

With that little bit of business all wrapped up, she hopped down from the kitchen table and turned on some music and started dancing. One of life's major decisions was just checked off her list, and she isn't even 3-years-old yet! I didn't have the heart to tell her that marrying your cousin is generally frowned upon in our culture today as she was so certain that was how things would turn out! And of course who wouldn't want their little girl to marry Caleb!

But it took me back to when I was at my parents' old house sitting at their kitchen table, holding back my own tears, as I had to tell Caleb that I loved him more than anything and would LOVE to marry him if I could, but I just couldn't! Caleb was probably the same age as Hannah is now. We have come full circle!

To Caleb's relief, she has yet to ask for a ring (clearly the only value in being married in her book!), but I think there will be trouble when he starts dating down the road! Watch out - Hannah has staked her claim!