Saying Goodbye to Evie

Our 12-year-old dog Eve died rather unexpectedly about a month ago. It's been hard, as she has been with us since the first day we moved into this house 5.5 years ago. But it has been made even harder by the fact that I should have talked about death with Hannah before her beloved Evie passed away. Yet, there never seems to be a good time with a toddler - especially for one who is such a worrier. The overall concept is still lost, I'm afraid.

Even after a month, Hannah still doesn't understand where Eve is and why she hasn't come home yet. Countless times each day, Hannah asks if we can go to the vet to bring Eve home. "She's calling for me - she wants to come home." (I wilt a little more every time she says things like this.) Hannah still sets a place for Eve when starting a board game and continues to pour her a cup of tea for tea parties, then looks up and asks when Eve can come home because she misses playing with her, "and I'm just waiting and waiting for her to take her turn with this game already." Being sad can only last so long when one is so impatient!

So, we buried Eve's ashes in our backyard, hoping some sort of closure could come from it. At my sister's suggestion, we each picked 3 of our favorite things we loved most about Eve. After we managed to focus and stopped picking up all the worms that were dug up, this is our list for the best pet anyone could ask for:

Hannah's:

1. She played chase with me. (Something that had to be learned for Eve - Hannah had to hold a treat in her hand for it to work!)
   
2. She caught the ball in her mouth when I threw it, "even though that's kinda yucky."
3. She loved me lots. (rather egocentric, but nonetheless, it was true!)

Mine:

1. She cleaned up all the crumbs under the table. Something I obviously didn't fully appreciate when she was here. It's a wonder Eve didn't weigh 200 pounds from all the scraps she got!
2. Before we had kids, she would sneak up on Jeff's side of the bed while he was brushing his teeth in hopes of sleeping there for the night. She'd lay perfectly still (it even seemed like she'd hold her breath!) hoping maybe THIS time he wouldn't see her 65-pound self when he came out of the bathroom and make her get down .
3. She and Arthur were the epitome of an old married couple. One couldn't be without the other. Arthur kept Eve from accidentally wandering into trouble, and Eve brought an end to Arthur's wild bachelor days in the alleys and kept him from causing too much mischief.

Jeff's:

1. She LOVED the water.
   
2. She was the perfect height and demeanor when Hannah was learning how to walk to go "dog surfing." Hannah would crawl over to Eve, pull herself up and hang on for dear life as Eve would stand up and start walking/running away trying to get away from those little prying fingers! Wish Addi could have learned to walk the same way.
3. She was a great foot warmer on cold nights when I had to work in the basement.
   

I still think having a pet is one of the best things you can do when raising kids, as the rewards are endless. But losing one has also been one of the hardest. Part of me doesn't want to get another dog simply because I don't think I can go through this again. But the house seems empty, and those crumbs under the table are starting to pile up!
Yin and Yang, I guess.